Non-financial wealth: family history

[John Holzmann]

I've been reading three books by three members of one family: D.G (Debby Greene) Fulford, her brother Bob Greene, and their mother, Phyllis Greene: To Our Children's Children: Preserving Family Histories for Generations to Come, One Memory at a Time: Inspiration and Advice for Writing Your Family Story, and Designated Daughter: The Bonus Years with Mom.

Whoa! Powerful books!

To Our Children's Children is a book of memory-inspiring questions preceded by a very brief preface/introduction.

The authors note that, by asking their questions, they intendto “lead you down the pathways of your own life” so that you can put together a personal history for your family. “As you'll see,” they say, “the secret of all this is founded in the particulars. The specifics of your own memories are what your family will treasure the most. The main thing for you to know is that you need not attempt to sum up your life in grand, sweeping historic strokes, but stick to the seemingly small basics.”

And that’s the reason for all the questions, detailed questions about the minutia of life, questions like these:

Concerning "Your Family and Ancestry"

• Do you remember any special aunts and uncles? Was there someone your family was particularly proud of? Was there any one of whom your family was not so proud?
• Was yours a religious family? Did you all attend services together? Were these dress-up affairs?
• Did your grandparents live nearby? How often did you visit their homes? Did their house have a special cooking smell? Onions? Cookies? What did their couch feel like? How big was the kitchen?
• Did your family ever have a reunion? did you meet any relatives there you had heard a lot about but didn't know? . . .

Concerning "Parenthood"

• What did you do to punish your kids? Was this hard for you to do? Which of your children needed the most discipline? Why, do you think? . . .

Concerning "The House You Raised Your Family In"

• What kind of stove did you have? . . . Did you have linoleum on the kitchen floor? What was the pattern? What did your cookie jars and canisters look like? . . .

Concerning "Food"

• Have you ever been on a diet? A faddish diet that "everyone" was on? . . .
• Are you brand-loyal? What are some of the brands you've stuck with all your life? How do you feel about generic goods? Do you buy store-brand food? Drugs? Vitamins? Cleaning goods? . . .

Concerning "Politics and History"

• What have been your causes over the years? How have you worked for them? What do you do about the issues that bother you? Volunteer work? Charitable donations?
• Did you ever wear campaign buttons or use bumper stickers? Which campaign slogans stick in your mind? Which ones do you remember from your growing up? . . .
• Have you ever been on jury duty? What was the case? Did you decide the defendant guilty or innocent? Was it a hard judgment call? Did it keep you awake nights? . . .

. . . And so on and so forth: between 30 and 42 groups of questions like these (each bullet point above would be one group of questions) arranged under some 30 different subheads.

The point of To Our Children's Children, in general, is not to get specific answers to each and every one of these questions, but, rather, to permit the questions to spark your (or our loved one's) memories--to tell the stories, the stories behind the answers to the questions.

More in my next post when I hope to talk about One Memory at a Time, which, I'd say, is really more a coaching book to help you maximize the value of To Our Children's Children.