Most people seem to assume they should give an inheritance to their children. No matter what. And equally for all.

Gary North argues that may be a big mistake!

North, I believe, was the first person who challenged me to think about to whom I should give my estate. It was probably 15 or 20 years ago when I read an article in which he said, “Don’t give your money to someone who is going to use it against the very things in which you believe and for which you have dedicated your life.” –Something like that.

Just because he’s your son, doesn’t mean you have to give him an inheritance. Not if you’ve been seeking the Kingdom of God and all he’s interested in is doing the Devil’s work! Read the rest of this entry »

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Estate planning is–or should be–about a family’s pecuniary interests, of course. But what about the things that money can’t buy? The best estate planners say you should deal with them. But these same planners, it seems to me, have a difficult time explaining what, exactly, these “other” assets are, how, exactly, these “other” assets can impact an estate, and what, exactly, you should do to maximize their benefit for future generations.

Gerald Le Van wrote an article for the American Bar Association’s Experience magazine (Summer 2006, p. 28) titled “A Family Council for the ‘Relational Estate.’” I think he begins to unpack the meaning of these “other,” intangible assets very well. He suggests that some of them are comprised of the family’s “relational estate.” Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve already read Jay Link’s Family Wealth Counseling.

He’s issued a clarion call to pay attention not only to the financial aspects of an estate plan or legacy plan, but, I would say, he calls our attention even more to the social and spiritual/emotional issues related to one’s . . . lifetime legacy.

I chose those last two words carefully.

I think we aren’t normally challenged to think in terms of our lives when it comes to estate planning. We are led to think in terms of death, dying, and what happens after our lives are over.

Link, by contrast, calls us to Read the rest of this entry »

So Sarita and I are working through this legacy planning process.

G____, our advisor, gave us a 20-page booklet full of questions for us to answer. Some are relatively easy. But many are thought-provoking, and some cause me consternation.

I’d like to share some of the questions with you. I hope they inspire you as they have me. . . .

The questionnaire begins with “Childhood Reflections”: Read the rest of this entry »

G____, our legacy planner, asked, “Suppose we were to say a family has successfully passed on its legacy to the next generation if two things, at minimum, are true: 1) the family’s wealth is still there when the first generation has passed away, and, 2) none of the members of the second generation have seen their lives destroyed due to improper use of funds; no family relationships have been ruined as a result of strife over money.

“Of families who use traditional financial and estate planning techniques and go no further, what percentage would you guess are successful, according to this definition, in the second generation? How many wealthy families still have the wealth and are still relationally intact in the second generation?”

“Maybe one or two percent?” I suggested. Read the rest of this entry »