The pressure had been building for weeks. And it all came to a head last Thursday. I was sure Sarita and I were about to lose our long-time investment advisor. In fact, I went into my meeting with him sure this would be our last meeting together. And I was totally–totally–bummed. It was the culmination of growing distrust between our advisors.

Why had things come to this point? Read the rest of this entry »

I’m in shock. Stunned.

J____, our legacy planner, called this morning. And, boy! He let me have it. Right between the eyes. And he wasn’t about to back off an inch from his perspective or position: He is right. Sarita and I are wrong. We have (I have) no business questioning him. Certainly not in front of others (the way I did in my “Building or Destroying Trust” letter last week, in which I copied our CPA and attorney, our company’s general manager, Sarita, and our four kids).

I guess I should note something I haven’t made clear before. J____ is a devoutly Christian man. Very concerned (as I am) about conducting his affairs uprightly, according to Scripture. Problems can arise, of course, when two devout people bump into one another as a result of differing perspectives on what a certain Scripture may mean.

For J____, the fact that I copied my email, last week, to others: that means I am wholly in the wrong. “You talk about building or destroying trust, John! You have completely destroyed my trust in you. . . . I am of a good mind,” he said to me this morning . . . –”I am of a good mind to terminate our relationship.” Read the rest of this entry »

I am “just” astonished. And appalled. And deeply distressed.

As I went to create this post, I noticed I have a post category called “family relationships.” I don’t have one called “advisor relationships.” But I’m thinking maybe I ought to create one!

The revelation, yesterday, has completely consumed me.

I spent most of yesterday afternoon, and several more hours this morning, drafting a letter to J____, our legacy planner. Read the rest of this entry »

I “can’t believe it”!

I met with L____ (our CPA) today so I could sign all our tax returns. (It’s an annual affair. We have about a dozen legal structures, many of which require separate tax returns.)

Anyway. So we’re talking about “how’s life,” as we usually do. (I enjoy meeting with L____ as a casual friend as well as counselor, and we talk about how things are going several times a year.)

So he asks me: “What do you think of J____’s proposal?”

I grow thoughtful for a minute and then say, “I think, in general, it sounds like a great idea. But Sarita and I are really concerned about his 501(c)(3) proposal. . . .”

“B____ [our estate planning and structures attorney] and I are very much concerned about the 501(c)(3) proposal,” he replied.

(!!!!) “You are?!? . . . J____ said you guys were all behind the plan!” Read the rest of this entry »