Five questions, in order, will give you a broad-stroke-overview understanding of the legacy planning process. A few additional questions help clarify. Read the rest of this entry »

What is the right size inheritance to give to your children?

I was first confronted with this question many years ago by an article in which the author asked if it made any sense to fund a child who has decided to rebel against everything you have ever stood for. –Should you give them an equal inheritance to that which you give your other children who are more deeply committed to the causes and values that you espouse?

It wasn’t that I had such a child, nor that I even had any wealth to pass to our children. But it got me thinking.

More recently, especially as our estate’s value has grown, I’ve been confronted by other questions. For example: Should the kids inherit everything you can give them? Read the rest of this entry »

I was doing some research on the web and ran across “just one more” “complete estate plan” site:

This “complete” estate plan is definitely better than no plan at all. And if your are unwilling to take the time to sort through your deepest desires, purpose, vision, values, mission in life: having something like these documents ought to be better than having nothing. Read the rest of this entry »

I’m astonished. It wasn’t even an hour after J____ confirmed the termination of our relationship when I suddenly felt new clarity to ask C____, the attorney he had recommended, to resume her research project or, in some ways, to start all over on a new project.

I wrote to C____,

As my wife and I have continued our researches into the feasibility of shifting our corporation into 501(c)(3) status, several things have become clear to us. Among them:

• The order in which we want to proceed with our broad-based legacy planning process.

And,

• Some of the questions we need to ask–including questions we need to ask of you.

In terms of order: we have realized that we want to continue research into the idea of shifting to a 501(c)(3) at the same time that we pursue other options.

As for the questions we believe we want and need to ask of you–for which we are happy to pay you the fees we agreed to: Read the rest of this entry »

Ah! It’s been a mess.

I asked J____ for forgiveness to the greatest degree I felt I could, in good conscience.

He accepted my apology and proffered forgiveness.

I made no mention of the conclusion of our relationship. He had stated firmly on Monday that “this was it.”

He made no mention of continuing our relationship, either.

So a couple of hours after I asked forgiveness and he granted it, I wrote him about a refund.

“Interesting follow up email to your email asking for forgiveness,” he replied. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve been trying to think through our legacy planner, J____’s, comment about how he is Peyton Manning and I am constantly second-guessing him, “running onto the field” and attempting to play quarterback.

As I’ve thought about it, I realize J____ has made a number of suggestions or recommendations to us over the half year or so we have been working together. And, after due consideration, I have (and I should say, Sarita and I have–we have) rejected several of them. Read the rest of this entry »

It sounds as if the threat–the thought–of termination is becoming a reality. J____, our legacy planner, just wrote me a letter:

John,

This email I just received from C____ [the attorney to whom he introduced us] only further confirms my decision to discontinue working with your family. Exactly when was I going to hear about this new development? Read the rest of this entry »

I’m in shock. Stunned.

J____, our legacy planner, called this morning. And, boy! He let me have it. Right between the eyes. And he wasn’t about to back off an inch from his perspective or position: He is right. Sarita and I are wrong. We have (I have) no business questioning him. Certainly not in front of others (the way I did in my “Building or Destroying Trust” letter last week, in which I copied our CPA and attorney, our company’s general manager, Sarita, and our four kids).

I guess I should note something I haven’t made clear before. J____ is a devoutly Christian man. Very concerned (as I am) about conducting his affairs uprightly, according to Scripture. Problems can arise, of course, when two devout people bump into one another as a result of differing perspectives on what a certain Scripture may mean.

For J____, the fact that I copied my email, last week, to others: that means I am wholly in the wrong. “You talk about building or destroying trust, John! You have completely destroyed my trust in you. . . . I am of a good mind,” he said to me this morning . . . –”I am of a good mind to terminate our relationship.” Read the rest of this entry »