Is your house big enough? Do you need more room? Will your family be happier in a bigger home?

I think my perspective on this issue was shaped a bit last week by a converation I had with a few members of an American family that has lived and worked most of the time over the last nine years in the foothills of the Himalayas.

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As I have intimated in some recent posts in my personal blog, my wife and I spent last week in Thailand with field staff of one of the international charities we help fund.

While there, I volunteered to work on the security detail. As I sat in front of the bookstore they had set up checking people’s ID tags, I stopped a couple of young girls because I couldn’t see their wristbands.

One of them looked at me with a bit more than passing interest: “Are you Mr. Holzmann?”

“Yes.”

She lit up. “We use Sonlight!”

I won’t bore you with the details of that portion of our conversation.

It turns out, they are two children in a family of five kids. They live somewhere in the foothills of the Himalayas and move twice a year to live with a certain nomadic water buffalo-herding tribe that has a summer home and a winter home.

Interesting people!

About 10 or 15 minutes after we began talking, their dad came up. And the subject matter of our discussion broadened a bit. I asked him more about their living circumstances and how one lives with nomads. –I had never met anyone from the West who had adopted and/or adapted to such a lifestyle.

For some reason I can’t remember now, at one point, the dad made a comment that has stuck with me: “When we go back to the States,” he said, “I have found that families with five or more kids always seem to have more room to invite us in than do families with only one or two children. Even families with huge houses and just one child: they never seem to have room to invite us to stay with them. But families with five kids–even though their houses are much smaller: they always have room.

“We may sleep on the floor (which is fine with us). But they always have room. The more kids they have, the more room they seem to have.”

My thought: The physical space is rarely the issue. More often, we are limited by the size of our heart.

Indeed, as I was thinking about what my new friend had to say, I remembered our family’s time in southern California 20 years ago.

We lived in an 800-square-foot hovel. I think that’s the right word. It had holes in the outside walls so big you could see daylight through them when it was light outside and, in the winter, the wind would blow the kitchen cupboards open. For the kids to go to the bathroom, they had to walk through every room in the house–from their room, through Sarita’s and my bedroom, through the living room area, through the kitchen, through the back hallway (where the water heater was) and into the bathroom.

All four children–two girls and two boys–shared a single bedroom

And y’know what? No one complained!

In fact, though we owned four beds (two bunkbeds), until just a few months before we moved (when our eldest daughter was about 11 and a half), all four children preferred to sleep in one bed. We used to talk about how they were like sausages in a container. They preferred to share the bed. There was something reassuring about that closeness, I think.

And our kids got along. They were close. Despite dramatic personality differences. Despite the age range. Despite the fact that they spent most of the time together because we were homeschooling as well.

The physical closeness, I think, actually contributed to our children interacting with each other. It helped enlarge their hearts to make room for others.

FWIW. I thought I’d share my thoughts.

And my prayer: May I have a heart big enough for whatever God calls me to . . . unhindered by my physical surroundings!

Our youngest son called me Tuesday evening to ask if I’d like to join him as he drives home from college in a week and a half. It means I have to buy a one-way plane ticket and take a couple of days out of my schedule. As long as the airfare wasn’t too high (what’s too high?), I decided, absolutely.

Sure enough, Southwest had a great fare. So we’re scheduled to go.

I’m excited.

Is it because sitting in a Toyota Corolla for 24 hours of driving over two days sounds like a lot of fun?

No. Rather, it’s because I expect our experience will be along the lines of something Kevin Swanson, executive director of Christian Home Educators of Colorado, said a couple of months ago. Read the rest of this entry »

Following my invitation, I sent three more emails to our family members in anticipation of the family meetings I hoped to hold during our Family Fun Week.

The first was simplest: I simply forwarded an email I had requested from our CPA in anticipation of year-end financial planning to maximize our giving. Read the rest of this entry »

As I’ve noted before, our legacies are far more than financial. How we raise our kids provides a significant inheritance. With that in mind, then, I ran across a couple of posts on the Sonlighters Club forums that struck me as extremely wise. I asked the posts’ author, Drusha E A Mussmann, if I could reprint them. She gave me permission. So with thanks to Drusha, I am pleased to present the following.

A mom of a 14-year-old son wrote, “He is just so disrespectful I am boiling raging inside . . . or crying. . . . Talk me down. Pray for me. [Do something.]”

what did he do TODAY? Read the rest of this entry »

As you may know, I am a co-owner of Sonlight Curriculum, Ltd., and Sonlight has a very active online forum community.

One of the moms, “Brenda in GA,” wrote a story about doing a road trip with her almost-14-year-old daughter. I asked her for permission to reprint it here — permission which she gave willingly.

Why would I want to reprint her story? Because, as one of the other forum participants commented in response to Brenda’s post, “I love road trips . . . [because, as you said, t]hey are quite a bonding experience.”

Brenda’s story, and the follow-up comment inspired me to urge you: Long before you seek to establish your own family government, you’ll want to do everything in your power to establish good relationships with your children, grandchildren, or others among your progeny.

More about that “message” in a moment. But first . . . Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s a book for mentoring kids about money that will “blow you away.” Highly readable, complete, practical, actionable. For “kids” from 5 to 18 . . . and beyond.

How do I like this book? Let me count the ways. Read the rest of this entry »

Prior to speaking at our church on the 20th, the McWilliamses showed a slightly shortened version of a “Family Story” video you can see at Gail’s website.

I’d say Lydia, their next-to-youngest, was probably about 11 or 12 when she was interviewed for the video. And what she said shook me up.

“I can’t imagine what the world would be without me,” she begins. “The world would probably be missing my . . . ” Read the rest of this entry »

Tony and Gail McWilliams spoke at our church a couple of weeks ago. This is their story.

When she was still a teenager, Gail was told that, as a result of an illness she suffered when she was nine, she would never be able to bear children.

But she and Tony got married and eventually–wonder of wonders–she became pregnant. There were complications that threatened their baby’s life. It’s a story worth telling. But I want to concentrate on another theme.

While she was pregnant, Gail’s eyes began to hemorrhage and she lost some of her eyesight.

A few years later, when she became pregnant again, Gail’s eyes hemorrhaged even more. And so, at three and a half months into her pregnancy, she found herself confronted by a doctor.

“Gail,” he said, “you have to choose today between your baby and your eyes. Which will you keep?”

Read the rest of this entry »