A homeschooling acquaintance of mine who goes by the online moniker “Prairie Chick” posted a story that inspired me about how to pass on and reinforce family values even among elementary school-age children (let alone older children and adults).

I saw her story on the Sonlight forums. When I asked her permission to share it here, she noted that she had also posted it on one of her blogs, The Prairie Schoolhouse. Read the rest of this entry »

I read an article this morning that reminded me: Most estate- and legacy-planning professionals ignore philanthropic considerations in their basic planning strategies.

Alexis Martin Neely, for example, notes, in an article printed in the latest Bottom Line Personal, that single adult parents (widowed or divorced, in particular) need to make allowances in their estate plans not only for their personal health care, but also “for the guardianship of any minor children and transfers [of] assets to heirs of your choice while minimizing taxes.”

It struck me: This is the standard mantra of traditional estate planning professionals. For them, estate planning is all about minimizing taxes and maximizing flow-through to the next generation. And it has absolutely nothing to do with larger life purposes, the legacies Read the rest of this entry »

Is your house big enough? Do you need more room? Will your family be happier in a bigger home?

I think my perspective on this issue was shaped a bit last week by a conversation I had with a few members of an American family that has lived and worked most of the time over the last nine years in the foothills of the Himalayas. Read the rest of this entry »

As you may know, I am a co-owner of Sonlight Curriculum, Ltd., and Sonlight has a very active online forum community.

One of the moms, “Brenda in GA,” wrote a story about doing a road trip with her almost-14-year-old daughter. I asked her for permission to reprint it here — permission which she gave willingly.

Why would I want to reprint her story? Because, as one of the other forum participants commented in response to Brenda’s post, “I love road trips . . . [because, as you said, t]hey are quite a bonding experience.”

Brenda’s story, and the follow-up comment inspired me to urge you: Long before you seek to establish your own family government, you’ll want to do everything in your power to establish good relationships with your children, grandchildren, or others among your progeny.

More about that “message” in a moment. But first . . . Read the rest of this entry »

I love questions. If I find a good one, I often consider it almost more valuable than whatever answer someone may offer. Questions can help to reveal the truth, of course. But well-constructed questions can inspire deep thought, and the rare person who asks them can help to deepen relationships in ways that people who merely talk, or others, who merely listen, never will. Of course, merely asking the question is not enough. You have to also listen to the answers–really listen, and demonstrate that you care what the other person has to say. But that kind of questioning and listening behavior can open doors to other people’s hearts in ways that mere talk never can.

All that by way of introduction to my primary purpose, here: I wanted to share with you a set of 10 “golden questions” for parents to discuss with their children. Read the rest of this entry »

Prior to speaking at our church on the 20th, the McWilliamses showed a slightly shortened version of a “Family Story” video you can see at Gail’s website.

I’d say Lydia, their next-to-youngest, was probably about 11 or 12 when she was interviewed for the video. And what she said shook me up.

“I can’t imagine what the world would be without me,” she begins. “The world would probably be missing my . . . ” Read the rest of this entry »

Tony and Gail McWilliams spoke at our church a couple of weeks ago. This is their story.

When she was still a teenager, Gail was told that, as a result of an illness she suffered when she was nine, she would never be able to bear children.

But she and Tony got married and eventually–wonder of wonders–she became pregnant. There were complications that threatened their baby’s life. It’s a story worth telling. But I want to concentrate on another theme.

While she was pregnant, Gail’s eyes began to hemorrhage and she lost some of her eyesight.

A few years later, when she became pregnant again, Gail’s eyes hemorrhaged even more. And so, at three and a half months into her pregnancy, she found herself confronted by a doctor.

“Gail,” he said, “you have to choose today between your baby and your eyes. Which will you keep?”

Read the rest of this entry »

I read two books while on vacation the last couple of weeks: Preparing Heirs: Five Steps to a Successful Transition of Family Wealth and Values by Roy Williams and Vic Preisser, and Family Wealth: How Family Members and Their Advisers Preserve Human, Intellectual, and Financial Assets for Generations, by James E. Hughes, Jr.

Preparing Heirs goes into depth about the research behind a number one of our advisors mentioned to us: in a study of 3,250 families with significant financial assets, 70% of them failed to transfer their assets successfully to the next generation. What does that mean? They either lost all their money, or they found that the money destroyed family relationships. It blew the family apart in the inheriting generation.

When I read Preparing Heirs, I thought it provided some good insights, especially into the causes of failure. Read the rest of this entry »