So I began this series talking about Justin.

What happened after our meta-conversation? Did anything change?

Honestly? Not much, really.

He still wanted the car. He still asked for us to fund his exploits.

We turned him down on every request.

“You know I’m going to have to get a loan in order to make this work,” he said.

“Yes, I know. Which is one of the reasons Read the rest of this entry »

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There come points in almost everyone’s life where we have to make choices that are not clear-cut in terms of whether they are right or wrong, good or bad, related to obedience or disobedience. They go beyond such categories.

I’m talking about choices for which one cannot possibly know the answer for sure: Should I take this job? Should I marry this woman (this man)? Should I rent this apartment/buy this house?

There’s almost always that lingering question, the lingering doubt.

And when you’re a young person, and you’re just starting out, and you’re used to getting a lot of parental feedback and, possibly, even, direction: there comes a point where your parents won’t know for sure what the right answer is. They may have some preferences, some hunches. You want to listen to them for wise counsel. But, ultimately, Read the rest of this entry »

Our youngest, heading toward summer break between his sophomore and junior year at college, wants to stay in western PA this summer. He has his reasons. We have our reasons for wanting him to come home. If he stays, we won’t feel he is being “disobedient” or “rebellious.” But we aren’t convinced it’s the best idea. We sense there are many reasons to think coming home to Colorado, at least this summer, may be a better option.

So when he asked for use of a car we purchased for him (our thought, never fully expressed, but fairly well understood: for his use while he is at home from college; for passing on to him when he graduates); and when he asked for rent money; and for living allowance; and for . . . –We said no.

“Why?”

He thought we were being unreasonable. “What is the point of owning a car if you are going to just leave it sitting in a garage?” he asked. “What is the point of being blessed with wealth if you aren’t willing to use it?” Read the rest of this entry »