Our youngest son called me Tuesday evening to ask if I’d like to join him as he drives home from college in a week and a half. It means I have to buy a one-way plane ticket and take a couple of days out of my schedule. As long as the airfare wasn’t too high (what’s too high?), I decided, absolutely.

Sure enough, Southwest had a great fare. So we’re scheduled to go.

I’m excited.

Is it because sitting in a Toyota Corolla for 24 hours of driving over two days sounds like a lot of fun?

No. Rather, it’s because I expect our experience will be along the lines of something Kevin Swanson, executive director of Christian Home Educators of Colorado, said a couple of months ago.

He was commenting on Proverbs 23:26 (“My son, give me your heart and let your eyes observe my ways”):

Relationship is the real core of the education of a child. . . . This is not an automatic thing, to have your son’s heart. Sometimes it’s there; sometimes it’s not. You have to pray for it. You have to ask for it, and you have to spend the time.

I think it’s a matter of quantity time. A friend of mine had six or seven boys. He said shepherding boys is like duck hunting. You spend about three hours behind the blind for about 30 seconds of action. That’s kind of the way it is. You just hang out together, and you hang out together for hours upon hours upon hours, and then you get 30 seconds of action.

I am getting the sense that’s not only true with boys. It’s true with girls, too.

And let me confess: I’m still learning how this works. Or, more accurately, I’m still learning to work this.

My habitual preference is to do “my own thing” rather than sit around “chewing the fat.” I’ve never been one for small talk. I’ve got “too many important things to do” with my time.

Or do I?

What’s more important than establishing a relationship with my kids?

My kids are between 22 and 30 years old. And I’m just learning this now: Take the time. Give them the time.

I hope you can learn these things yourself while you still have time.

Still not sure?

File this under Deuteronomy 6:6-9 and 11:18-21 . . . or Matthew 28:18-20.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, May 21st, 2009 at 7:36 am and is filed under family relationships, kids, legacy, mentorship. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.