Yipes! it’s been two months since S___ agreed to help us find a replacement legacy planner for G____.
S____ told us today that he has vetted seven planners and decided that none of them matched our needs. When he finally thought he had found one and brought us together with him for a final interview, frankly, all three of us–Sarita, S____, and I–were shocked at how the planner handled the interview.
S_____ had told him to come prepared.
Sarita asked him for a general outline of the kind of process he would attempt to bring us through. He would not–or, possibly, could not–answer.
“Well, how about if you give an example of the general contours of what you did with another family,” Sarita ventured.
“Every family is different,” said the prospective counselor.
“All right. I understand. But can’t you give us some indication of the kind of thing you’ve done with another family?”
The prospective counselor said he’d have to think on it and send us a written summary.
–Sorry!
The experience reminded us too much of what we found with G____. Was the counselor trying to be coy? Was he actually incompetent? Trying to cover up for poor preparation? Whatever the reason for his non-answers: We weren’t interested in proceeding.
So S_____ said, following the meeting, “I don’t think I can find anyone who will meet your expectations and requirements. . . . And, even though I generally don’t recommend this, I think you really can do this process on your own. You guys have a good working relationship as a family. . . .”
Oh! Okay!
So . . . “Do you have some materials you could recommend that might help lead me through the process?” I asked.
He has promised to give me some suggestions. And I’m willing to study them. But I have to confess: I am not completely comfortable with the idea of pursuing this all on my own. I sense I really do benefit from the outside energy, the . . . the insight or sense of direction that an outside counselor provides. (I surely did from G____, even though he drove members of our family a little crazy. . . .)
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