Patricia Sellers, editor-at-large for Fortune magazine has written an inspirational and thought-provoking article about Melinda Gates and her perspective on Bill, working with Warren Buffett, and giving away their billions.

Just so you understand what, exactly, we’re talking about, let me note:

The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation has assets of $37.6 billion, making it the world’s largest. In that total is $3.4 billion that Warren Buffett has already given, and still to come are nine million Berkshire Hathaway B shares, currently worth $41 billion, that he has pledged to contribute in coming years. Assuming that Berkshire (BRKA, Fortune 500) shares continue to rise and that the Gateses continue to bestow their own wealth on their foundation, Melinda and Bill will very likely give away more than $100 billion in their lifetimes. Already the foundation has disbursed $14.4 billion - more than the Rockefeller Foundation has distributed since its creation in 1913 (even adjusted for inflation).

Anything to be learned from someone like Melinda?

Here are a few of my take-aways: Read the rest of this entry »

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What is the right size inheritance to give to your children?

I was first confronted with this question many years ago by an article in which the author asked if it made any sense to fund a child who has decided to rebel against everything you have ever stood for. –Should you give them an equal inheritance to that which you give your other children who are more deeply committed to the causes and values that you espouse?

It wasn’t that I had such a child, nor that I even had any wealth to pass to our children. But it got me thinking.

More recently, especially as our estate’s value has grown, I’ve been confronted by other questions. For example: Should the kids inherit everything you can give them? Read the rest of this entry »

I love questions. If I find a good one, I often consider it almost more valuable than whatever answer someone may offer. Questions can help to reveal the truth, of course. But well-constructed questions can inspire deep thought, and the rare person who asks them can help to deepen relationships in ways that people who merely talk, or others, who merely listen, never will. Of course, merely asking the question is not enough. You have to also listen to the answers–really listen, and demonstrate that you care what the other person has to say. But that kind of questioning and listening behavior can open doors to other people’s hearts in ways that mere talk never can.

All that by way of introduction to my primary purpose, here: I wanted to share with you a set of 10 “golden questions” for parents to discuss with their children. Read the rest of this entry »

So I began this series talking about Justin.

What happened after our meta-conversation? Did anything change?

Honestly? Not much, really.

He still wanted the car. He still asked for us to fund his exploits.

We turned him down on every request.

“You know I’m going to have to get a loan in order to make this work,” he said.

“Yes, I know. Which is one of the reasons Read the rest of this entry »

There come points in almost everyone’s life where we have to make choices that are not clear-cut in terms of whether they are right or wrong, good or bad, related to obedience or disobedience. They go beyond such categories.

I’m talking about choices for which one cannot possibly know the answer for sure: Should I take this job? Should I marry this woman (this man)? Should I rent this apartment/buy this house?

There’s almost always that lingering question, the lingering doubt.

And when you’re a young person, and you’re just starting out, and you’re used to getting a lot of parental feedback and, possibly, even, direction: there comes a point where your parents won’t know for sure what the right answer is. They may have some preferences, some hunches. You want to listen to them for wise counsel. But, ultimately, Read the rest of this entry »

Our youngest, heading toward summer break between his sophomore and junior year at college, wants to stay in western PA this summer. He has his reasons. We have our reasons for wanting him to come home. If he stays, we won’t feel he is being “disobedient” or “rebellious.” But we aren’t convinced it’s the best idea. We sense there are many reasons to think coming home to Colorado, at least this summer, may be a better option.

So when he asked for use of a car we purchased for him (our thought, never fully expressed, but fairly well understood: for his use while he is at home from college; for passing on to him when he graduates); and when he asked for rent money; and for living allowance; and for . . . –We said no.

“Why?”

He thought we were being unreasonable. “What is the point of owning a car if you are going to just leave it sitting in a garage?” he asked. “What is the point of being blessed with wealth if you aren’t willing to use it?” Read the rest of this entry »

Prior to speaking at our church on the 20th, the McWilliamses showed a slightly shortened version of a “Family Story” video you can see at Gail’s website.

I’d say Lydia, their next-to-youngest, was probably about 11 or 12 when she was interviewed for the video. And what she said shook me up.

“I can’t imagine what the world would be without me,” she begins. “The world would probably be missing my . . . ” Read the rest of this entry »

Tony and Gail McWilliams spoke at our church a couple of weeks ago. This is their story.

When she was still a teenager, Gail was told that, as a result of an illness she suffered when she was nine, she would never be able to bear children.

But she and Tony got married and eventually–wonder of wonders–she became pregnant. There were complications that threatened their baby’s life. It’s a story worth telling. But I want to concentrate on another theme.

While she was pregnant, Gail’s eyes began to hemorrhage and she lost some of her eyesight.

A few years later, when she became pregnant again, Gail’s eyes hemorrhaged even more. And so, at three and a half months into her pregnancy, she found herself confronted by a doctor.

“Gail,” he said, “you have to choose today between your baby and your eyes. Which will you keep?”

Read the rest of this entry »