My Pandora “Sweet Vocal” station introduced me to Jessica Andrews and “Who I Am,” her biggest hit.*

I liked the song when I first heard it, and gave it a “Thumbs Up” . . . which guaranteed I would hear it again.

As I listened to it for about the third time yesterday, it struck me how wholesome it is to have the kind of self-confidence she enjoys because of the knowledge of her heritage: Read the rest of this entry »

A friend of mine is completing the next-to-last semester in her JD–Juris Doctor–degree program. [Juris Doctor: she is studying to become an attorney.] She took the final exam in her Wills, Trusts & Estates class on Monday.

“I did real well,” she said. “I think I may have done better on that than any other tests I’ve taken since I began my studies!”

“That’s great!” I said.

“Yeah. I think it’s because with estate planning, you’re just dealing with straight technical questions. You don’t have to deal with all the messy emotional and relational issues–all the people questions–that are so common in other parts of family law.”

I looked at her in shock. “You’re kidding!” Read the rest of this entry »

You might wish a family meeting could simply “happen.” No preparation. Let me assure you: that’s a highly unlikely scenario. So how do you prepare?

Here’s what I did in preparation for our family’s first meetings this past week.

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Beginning in 2006, when we realized all the kids were grown up, they were beginning to have kids of their own, and our youngest was off at college most of the year, we also woke up to the fact that if we were to spend any significant time with one another, we had to be purposeful about it. And so we set aside a week simply to do “fun things” together–our family’s version of a goodly portion of the Party Tithe.

So in 2006, we made arrangements to see and do and experience all the “best of the best” available in the extended Denver metro area the week before Christmas. Last year, we took the Thanksgiving Week to visit Florence, Italy, together as a family. And this year, Maui, Hawaii. This year’s Family Fun Week took place last week.

Our eldest daughter, seems to be specially gifted in organizing activities and, therefore, has served, all three years, as our unofficial but undoubted “family travel bureau and Family Fun Week organizer.” Several weeks ago, I suddenly realized these Family Fun Weeks could–and, my opinion, should–provide a great opportunity for us to meet together more formally as a family. So I told Amy I wanted to hold some family meetings. She graciously granted me permission to set up three meetings over the course of the week.

In preparation for the meetings, I sent several e-mails to the kids, along with a bunch of documents I prepared from some of the things I’ve been reading. The first one was titled “Preparation for Family Fun Week Family Meetings.” I sent it on Monday the 17th: Read the rest of this entry »

Yesterday, as I read some more in Charles W. Collier’s Wealth in Families, I came across a section where he was interviewing Dr. Lee Hausner, a Los Angeles-based clinical psychologist and author of Children of Paradise: Successful Parenting for Prosperous Families. Collier quoted Hausner as saying,

I believe in a prenuptial agreement because healthy relationships should not be based on finances. A prenuptial agreement is a business contract, and . . . families should protect the business or financial assets of the family. [A prenuptial agreement] protects wealth that was created before the marriage. Signing a prenuptial clearly indicates that money is not the motivation for this marriage. . . .

Families of wealth should talk about prenuptials from the time of their children’s adolescence. They need to explain the importance of the wealth protection philosophy of the family and how this will enable the financial wealth to grow for future generations as well as providing lifetime benefits to the current generation. Family money should have nothing to do with the love between two individuals who wish to marry.

When discussing this idea with future in-laws, it is important to emphasize that, even with a prenuptial, everyone will benefit from this type of financial wealth preservation. There can be trips, vacation homes, educational trusts for children, and retirement security, for example. . . .

Hausner’s comments reminded me of some issues we faced in our family a few years ago when our daughter was about to be married.

The idea that we might need to think about documents like prenuptials had never crossed our minds. But there I was, a couple of months prior to the wedding, holding our annual corporate meetings, and I happened to mention that our daughter was soon to be married. Our estate planning and structures attorney immediately said, “She and her husband-to-be need to sign a prenuptial agreement.”

I was shocked.

Everything I had ever heard about prenuptials said they were simply and merely, if you will, “plans for divorce,” the ethical equivalent of accessories to a crime.

As we talked about the idea, our attorney explained things in a way that I can understand, and I came away with the conviction that he was right: Our kids, as beneficial shareholders of our family business, really do need to have prenuptial agreements, and the need for prenups is there with or without divorce. Instead, the creation of a prenuptial agreement ought to be viewed as a form of business insurance. And for well-meaning couples who enter marriage with open hearts and good faith, the presence of a prenuptial should bear no more ethical weight than the purchase of property and casualty insurance. Read the rest of this entry »

Charles W. Collier, in Wealth in Families, expands on the theme urged by James E. Hughes, Jr. to which I’ve alluded in the past–the idea that, as Collier quotes Hughes (perhaps from a personal interview; I have been unable to find these exact words in either of Hughes’ books themselves): “A family’s duty is to work to preserve the family’s principal wealth-generating assets: its human and intellectual capital. The family leadership and governance structure should provide an environment that values and enhances each family member’s ability to pursue their individual life calling.”

As I have meditated on Hughes’ comments and, more recently, on what Collier says, I have realized, on the one hand, that they call our attention to things most of us ignore to our peril. On the other, I have realized that there are several other asset classes that they don’t really address.

I would like to call your attention to four such non-financial, wealth-generating asset classes. What follows, then, combines a bit of Hughes, a bit of Collier, and serious dollop of John Holzmann as well. Read the rest of this entry »

David Wills, president of The National Christian Foundation, commented, “The average age at which a woman becomes a widow in the United States today is 57 years old.”

If there is any truth to that assertion (and the U.S. Census Bureau says it is (see Table 5, p. 11, on the referenced document); the age at widowhood for first marriages is 57.8, to be exact!), his follow-up comment deserves careful consideration: “Gentlemen, you have to redefine progeny. Progeny, for you, is your wife, your children, and your grandchildren.” And the implication: Read the rest of this entry »

I know Sarita’s mom has has been deeply concerned that she might suffer some kind of physical ailment–perhaps fall down the stairs, have a heart attack, who knows what–and no one would find her for days.

As a result, Sarita and her sister make it a point, between them, to call Mom twice a day–one in the morning, one in the evening–just to ensure that Mom is being well taken care of.

And then I read of Carrier Alert, a wonderful service from the U.S. Postal Service. Read the rest of this entry »

ADDENDUM as of 2/5/09: While I am still excited about the materials I discuss in this post, it is with great sadness that I feel compelled to note I have discovered there are reasons for caution with respect to the sources referenced herein. With respect to Vision Forum Ministries, I call your attention to the series of articles at Ministry Watchman and Jen’s Gems. And with respect to Geoff Botkin, see Who is Geoffrey Botkin? at the Under Much Grace blog.

[Continued discussion of Vision Forum Ministries' program titled The 200 Year Plan: A Practicum on Multi-Generational Faithfulness.]

I find it difficult to think even five years ahead. So how can I begin thinking 200 years into the future of my family? One secret: just begin! Start writing! Read the rest of this entry »